As I sit here on the eve of my 28th birthday, I can’t help but feel lost. I’m going to be another year older…and you are “Forever Young”.
I used to LOVE my birthday. No matter how I celebrated, I celebrated another year God gave me with my friends and family.
Our whole lives you were 8 months behind, my sounding board, my built in best friend, and always there when I needed you. Sometimes I forgot that you were the younger of the 2 of us because you were the wiser one. Maybe it was just your old, romantic soul.
I’m turning 28 and it just doesn’t feel right. You should be 27 and giving me a hard time about getting old. I should be laughing at you and saying you shouldn’t smack talk like that since are nipping at my heels.
But you’re not anymore.
You are forever young.
You are forever 23 years old.
And that’s so hard to say.
I’m getting a lot better with handling my birthday. I’m coming to terms with aging without you even if I don’t like it. Even if I’m sitting here in tears just thinking about it.
I will say this….turning 25? Yeah, it majorly SUCKED. I’m talking the vast vacuum of space kind of suck. *I mean inhaled profusely, because your momma doesn’t like the word suck*
That was my first birthday after I lost you and it was the worst.
I couldn’t fathom that I was turning 25 when you hadn’t gotten the chance turn 24, because that’s not how it worked. For 23 years, I didn’t age until you caught up.
SO THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKED.
I turn an age then you turn an age. Then we rinse and repeat until we are old, our hair has turned gray, and we are living in a nursing home irritating our husbands and kids/grandkids because we INSIST on sharing a room.
But you are forever young and I am aging on.
You died 2 weeks before your 24th birthday. Yet, here I am about to turn 28 without you and I HATE it, but I’m learning to enjoy it again.
I WANT to enjoy it again, if not for you, then for me and for my momma who painstakingly went through 2 days of labor for me.
You are forever courageous.
You are forever strong.
You are forever joyful.
You are forever dancing.
You are forever healed.
You are forever beautiful, my Lettle Razzburry.
You are forever young.
Love you always. Miss you forever, Sunflower. 🌻
*Yes, I know that youth doesn’t equal beauty. All ages are beautiful. I’m making a point.*
Credits: “Forever Young”
Artist: Stoney LaRue
Written: Bob Dylan / Jim Cregan