Don’t forget that with God all things a possible…

Doesn’t matter if it’s broken or just ashes & smoke. You’re right in the middle of a miracle.

Happy Resurrection Weekend y’all!

We (rightfully so) always make this weekend about Jesus and the sacrifice he made on Calvary all the years ago, but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about his friends and family that couldn’t see they were in the middle of a miracle even as they watched someone they love so fiercely be stripped away from them.

Let me tell you…been there done that.

He had a mother, a father, family, friends, everything that we as ordinary, average humans have.

He lived and breathed as we do.

He ate and rested as we do.

He had people who loved Him tremendously watch the abuse He suffered, watched the nails pierce His hands, and watch the crown of thorns be forced down on His head…

People whose hearts were breaking at the sight.

They were in the middle of what they imagined would be the worst day of their lives, but they were watching a Perfect Plan unfold.

They trusted and believed that He was who he said He was.

They watched Him turn water to wine…

They watched Him give sight to the blind and tell the lame to get up and walk…

They watched Him step out of the boat onto water and feed many with just a little…

They watched Him calm storms and call a dead man back to life…

They saw first hand what He could do, and honestly…I don’t know if that was better or worse in those moments.

They knew He could stop all of what was happening, and He didn’t.

He felt every sting of the whip, every cut of the blades, every thorn….for us.

And those He loved and who loved Him watched it all go down…not truly knowing that in 3 days an Angel would say “He is not here”.

I’ve never had to watch someone I love die, much less in such a traumatic way.

I can’t tell you what the Disciples— what Mary— was feeling in that moment, but I can say that their grief journey started at the first taunt and slice of the thorns being placed on His head.

Looking back and studying this last week I found that it even tells us in John 19:26 that He saw His mother, aunt, Mary Magdalene and the disciples “whom He loved”.

But only He knew that this torment, this misery, this heart break they were feeling would all be worth it.

A miracle was coming.

I know I certainly didn’t see anything past my grief after losing Marriah.

Sometimes I still selfishly want her back here with me even though I don’t see what the reasons for her death are.

However, I am learning.

Learning that I don’t always know what God has planned.

Learning that I don’t know the reason for the last 8 years of pain.

Learning that I “have a future, cause He has a plan”.

Learning that I might be in the middle of a miracle even if I can’t see the map.

Just like Mary.

Just like John.

Just like Judas.

You read that right…Judas too was in the middle of the miracle. Jesus knew that Judas had a part in all of this, knew that he would betray Him, and still….Judas ate too.

Grief is weird.

It’s not linear. It doesn’t follow a timeline. It doesn’t have a 12 step program. It can’t be calculated. It is ever changing.

It just is what it is.

I’m learning that I have to let MY grief be what it is.

Mary had to do that…

The Disciples had to do that…

But unlike those who loved and walked the earth with Jesus, I know that Sunday is coming.

The miracle is coming.

And I have to believe in that or else I’ll never be able to recover.

Love you always. Miss you forever, Sunflower.🌻

Credits: “Middle of a Miracle”
Artist: Emerson Day
Written: Emerson Day
https://youtu.be/ttzALSFsr5s?si=V6Ab5XfsMtQ10m7Y